Be in control, without being controlling

There’s an old joke in the dog training world: “There’s only one thing two dog trainers will agree on — what the third dog trainer is doing wrong.” I laugh every time I hear it, mostly because it’s true.

I like to start working with my pups when they’re young. They’re sponges — eager, bright, and completely in love with one-on-one time. I find it easier to start insisting on small things before they hit adolescence and start testing the waters. You know that phase — “Do I really need to recall?”

There are folks in the stock dog world who believe that obedience before sheep ruins a dog’s instinct — that it makes them mechanical or robotic. I understand where that thinking comes from. It’s part of an older culture where animals were expected to prove themselves. They had to “take the pressure,” even when that pressure was excessive or misplaced. Sometimes it comes down to time: handlers with more dogs than they used to have know not every one will make it.

But here’s the thing — many of those same handlers are putting obedience on their dogs without even realizing it. When they teach a pup to ride quietly on the back of a quad, tie out, recall (who doesn’t need a recall?), or get out of the way, that is obedience. That is pressure and release. They just call it life.

For them, it’s second nature. But when that same advice — “don’t put obedience on your dog before sheep” — is given to someone new to stock dogs, especially those coming from the sport or pet world, it does everyone a disservice. The cultures are different, and so are the dogs.

Most of the time, when a handler gets overly controlling, it’s not about ego — it’s about uncertainty. They don’t stop their dog too much because they want to micromanage; they do it because they’re not sure what will happen if they don’t. They hesitate to let the dog work freely because they don’t yet trust that it will make the right choice.

A dog that knows what the job is — and why — earns more freedom than a dog that only knows how to follow commands. That difference has nothing to do with obedience. It’s about experience, confidence, and being allowed to try, fail, and learn. Because mistakes are where the learning happens.

When I start teaching a pup foundation skills — long before I ever take it to sheep — I’m teaching a few key things:

1. Working with me is generally fun and enjoyable.

2. Once they understand a concept, I will begin insisting.

3. I’ll make the right thing easy and the wrong thing hard — but not always, because that’s how life works.

This prepares a pup for the day I put them on sheep for the first time — which is usually the most exciting day of their life. And if that first day isn’t exciting, don’t worry. When that lightbulb goes on — look out!

A pup that already understands partnership and boundaries requires far less pressure than one learning everything all at once. A pup with no boundaries before sheep — suddenly exposed to a ton of pressure — is in an unfair position. It’s like an ambush. How is that beneficial in the long run?

I will continue to teach my young pups to stay and lie down. It’s worked for me — and for countless handlers before me — for generations. Experience and timing make things smoother. I know what I’m going to do based on what the dog shows me.

When you’re first starting out, that timing is the hardest part — but it gets easier. Practicing pressure and release in a safe, familiar setting helps. That’s what foundation work is for. If you can get to the point where you know you can control your dog when things are easy, you’ll be more relaxed when things get hard — and therefore, less controlling.

That’s what balance looks like: being in control, without being controlling.

P.S. If this post resonated with you, now’s a great time to jump in.

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